For years now teenage girls throughout the world have had pictures of American men adorning their walls, covered in greasy lip balm kisses that have worn away some of the colour. It seems that the unique gene pool formed through an almost completely immigrant population has managed to produce some of the most exportable totty the world has ever seen.
It’s not that British boys don’t have their charms. It is just that they are all around you. The American male is a pop sensation, a successful actor, a star. He is something alien, unobtainable, mythical even.
Then you get here and you soon realize that those guys represent the cream of what America has to offer. The milk is much more varied. However, in the weeks I have been studying the new fish pond I find myself in, several species have appeared. Some of these are stereotypes we have grown up with watching Molly Ringwald navigate the same waters 20 years ago. Some seem to be an evolution of those stereotypes and others are new, strange creatures that need to be investigated more thoroughly. Here are the results of my research:
1) The Tappable Geek
Back in the day these were elusive, hanging around by their lockers and in the library, mentally preparing for the next time the school bully singles them out for that days games. They were always there but hardly recognized by greater girl society. Now, intelligence is no longer a dirty word and with fine examples from TV such as The OC’s Seth Cohen and Pushing Daisies’ Ned the Piemaker, the nerd has hit back. They can still be found in any number of computer science classes but in recent years they have grown in confidence, knowing that girls will now take the chance that the bespectacled comic reader in front of them may become the next Bill Gates.
2) Boy From Another Decade
Imagine, if you will, that the 90s had never happened. We would all still be wearing graphic tees, mooning over Johnny Depp and dancing to Madonna. Hang on... Whether or not we have slipped back a decade, it is a strange sensation when you witness a man who appears to have been sent through a wormhole from 1985. It’s not even the cool side of the 80s. Rather than picking up a Smiths fan or a member of the New Order fan club, this time tornado has randomly chosen a Rob Lowe look-a-like, all gelled hair with floppy bangs, suit slacks and button down stripped shirt. He looks like a reject from the set of ‘Wall Street’ and has the opinions to match. Greed is never good.
3) Hipster or Hobo?
Can you tell the difference? He could be the lead singer of a cutting edge local electro band. He could be an artist who shows his work on a street corner every Second Saturday. He could have read slam poetry at whichever independent coffee shop in currently in vogue. Or he could collect cans in order to get jacked up on some cheap vodka and live under a light rail bridge. The trouble with wearing ironic clothing is that sometimes you get a little too close to the joke.
4) He’s On the Team
The jock. The ultimate stereotype. And yes, he still exists. He has diversified and is no longer carried through the school system on his ability to catch a ball. But you can still spot them a mile off: cap, sports jersey, standing head and shoulders above most of the other people around him. Yet when he tells you he’s on the team, even the most cynical of chicks gets a little flutter in her stomach.
5) Republicans: The Ultimate Bad Boy
It used to be that the bad boy was from the other side of the tracks. Now they could be from the other side of the political divide. Hey, it worked for Marie Shriver. Imagine the ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?’ scenario she had to go through. What we should remember in these divided times (for the next week and a bit anyway) is that Republicans are people too. They can laugh, cry, field dress moose and, yes, even love. Still not sure I could date one though.
